“I always feel like, somebody’s watching me…“
Anxiety. That creeping, niggling feeling that somebody, somewhere is remembering that thing you did ten years ago and is outraged because you didn’t fall over yourself to profusely apologise and make suitable reparations involving the giving of one of your kidneys, a piece of your liver, your life savings and your firstborn child. In fact, they believe that the stocks should be brought back as punishment for such transgressions and that you should immediately avail yourself of them for the most public of humiliations.
Except, it’s more likely that they have no memory of this incident that’s keeping you up at night, and even if they did remember, they probably wouldn’t care. It’s your brain that is conjuring up the worst possible scenario and tricking you into overthinking it. There’s really no need to throw yourself upon your sword…
Except, it’s more likely that they have no memory of this incident that’s keeping you up at night, and even if they did remember, they probably wouldn’t care. It’s your brain that is conjuring up the worst possible scenario and tricking you into overthinking it. There’s really no need to throw yourself upon your sword…
What is Anxiety?
Let’s start with a brief overview of what anxiety actually is. According to the NHS, anxiety is “a feeling of unease, such as worry or fear, that can be mild or severe”, and really, that’s it in a nutshell. It’s something that everyone has experienced at some point in their lives, whether that’s before an exam, a job interview or a date that you want to go well. It’s completely normal.
However, for some people, the anxiety can spiral and start to get out of control. They start to worry about things constantly and that worry begins to take over.
What are the symptoms?
Situational anxiety is, as I’ve said, pretty normal. It’s a sense of unease and worry that something isn’t going to turn out the way you planned it. You can have sweaty palms, your heart might race a little bit, your leg starts to bounce and your sleep might get disturbed for a couple of nights. Maybe you get a little bit short-tempered with people, a little bit snappy or do things like baking to pass the time. Which is actually a really good trick because it gives your hands and your brain something else to focus on. But once the situation in question is over, this goes away completely. No more irritation, the butterflies have flown and sleep is your friend again. All is right with the world.
Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety becomes a serious problem when all of those little symptoms don’t go away. They start off as a tiny, little ball that slowly picks up speed before plummeting down the mountain, turning into an avalanche, destroying everything in its path. It becomes the sole focus of your life as you try desperately to stay ahead of it until it’s too late, and one day it catches you and you find yourself clinging on to the side for dear life.
This is the point where it starts affecting your daily life. Things that used to bring you joy, no longer do because they’re being overshadowed by your thoughts. Every tiny situation is magnified and all associated worries are blown completely out of proportion. You start avoiding people, and staying in your room to hide from the world seems like a really good idea. When anxiety is prolonged, new symptoms can start creeping in…
It does look a little bit like a list of doom and if you already have anxiety, probably won’t help matters (soz). But it’s good to know what to look out for. The more knowledge you have, the better you’ll be able to prepare.
But….and go with it……anxiety doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. Can it be frustrating? Yes. Does it feel like it’s taking over your body sometimes? Yes. Can it save your life sometimes? Also yes. So you kind of want it……but you also kind of don’t. Conundrum? Absolutely.
So how is it a good thing???
So how can we manage our anxiety? Different things are going to work for different people so it’s always best to try a few things and see what helps. Breathing exercises, meditation, doing a workout (another way to get that dopamine hit), talking to someone, colouring books and drinking cold water are all tried and tested ways to calm your body and your mind.
If anxiety is taking over your life, check out my mental health first aid kit here. While it may be something that you need to manage, it doesn’t have to be in control!